BEYOND THE VIAL
THE CHEMISTRY IN THE BRAIN.
THE CHEMISTRY IN THE VIAL.
THE REST IS HARDER TO NAME.
CRAVINGS. FOOD. ALCOHOL. RECOVERY. ADDICTION. COMPULSION. TOO TIRED. TOO FAT. GO TOMORROW. NOT WORTH IT. STARTING MONDAY.
WHEN THE NOISE STARTS TO SOUND DIFFERENT, THE STORY UNDERNEATH DOES TOO.
The Needle Was A Fork
5 min read
There were no burnt spoons , no syringes, no tourniquets. Just a fork.
The First Thing That Disappeared Wasn’t My Appetite
3 min read
For years I assumed cravings were a part of life. The afternoon negotiation. The bottle the in cabinet. The belief that tomorrow would be different…
Inventory
4 min read
The apartment didn’t smell like booze anymore.
It smelled like surrender…
The Freezer
The oldest things in my house weren’t photographs.
They were promises wrapped in frost.
You could read my optimism by opening the freezer.
5:59 A.M
He knew the opening of every liquor store within 20 miles…
5 min read
The Closet
The quietest room in my house wasn’t the bedroom.
It was the closet.
Every hanger held a conversation I wasn’t ready to have.
The Drive-Thru
The drive-thru was the only place I could disappear without leaving my car.
There was something comforting about becoming a window instead of a person.
No eye contact.
No conversation.
Just an order number replacing my name.
The Voice
The loudest voice in my life never used sound.
It asked questions.
What are we eating today?
It was still morning.
Breakfast hadn’t even arrived, and lunch had already pulled up a chair.
The Grocery Store
The grocery store was a cathedral built for second chances.
Automatic doors sighed open like they already knew why I was there.